Imo the “bad boy who’s only nice secretly/after you get through his layers” trope in media functions as propaganda designed to get you to second guess yourself and your experiences in order to give bad men a chance. Some things need to be taken at face value and if he treats people like shit he is in fact a bad person even if he’s nice to you sometimes. Stop looking for hidden meaning and depth in his actions. He’s not misunderstood he’s just an asshole and it’s not your job to shovel through the shit to get to the disappointing “good” parts
i once heard a scientist in a documentary about evolution refer to the human spine as an “architectural nightmare” and then procede to explain why every back is a bad back. it was so validating.
I adjusted my bra straps wrong one day and I’ve been in a ridiculous amount of pain for the past week.
moving on without the apology you deserve is hard but don’t let the apology be the defining factor in your healing.. some people aren’t going to change but that’s on them, focus on you and getting better.